I’ve been all over the place lately. Yes, hormones. Yes, pregnancy. Yes, December craziness.
But also… Yes, faulty prioritizing.
When I got pregnant and nauseous and exhausted and everything else that came along with it, spending time with God became harder. I have been trying, once again, to stay afloat while ignoring the life raft floating 3 feet away.
Anybody with me?
I sat down last Monday morning, having actually got up on time and had a little much needed time with my Savior. I read a devotion and journaled and prayed.
The main thing that struck me was that I have been seeking all the wrong things. I may have been going after good things, but they weren’t the best things. I have been so emotional and out of sorts and just blaming it on pregnancy hormones. I’ve been disrespectful to my husband and blaming it on being exhausted. While those are legitimate things, I realized that I have the ability to DO something about it! And not just anything… I have the ability to take these worries and cares to the Creator of the Universe – the One who is knitting my baby together in my womb.
Who am I to think that I am big enough to handle all this alone?
I realized that if I started focusing my energy and time and emotion on seeking God, that He would be able to pour His energy and time and emotion back into me.
I realized that if I started seeking HIM instead of a new item to buy, blog to read, or method to try that He would be faithful in showing me the best choices to make.
As I sat there, I realized that I have been throwing thoughts at God but not actually sitting still, taking my cares to Him, and listening for His response.
When I finally did those things, He answered.
When I was a kid, my mom made ornaments as gifts for some of the people in our church. The ornaments said “Wise Men Still Seek Him.” The wise men went on an adventure across the lands, following a star – all to meet the One born in a stable. They put their whole selves into their journey and gave of their great riches.
As I go into this season of Christmas, that is the message on my heart. I want to take on every new adventure, following God’s directions. I want to come in contact with Jesus – I want to find Him! I want to see Him every day. I want to put my whole self into my journey and give from my heart.
What message is on your heart this Christmas?