Sometimes I wonder why we go through things in life. Is it to learn? Is it to become stronger? Is it to share our experiences with others? Is it just part of living?
I choose to believe it is all those things. I think that the things I’ve gone through in my life serve a purpose- in both my life and the lives of those around me.
So this is to the young ladies, the ones who have it together (or at least seem to), the ones who are falling apart, the ones who have given everything and gotten nothing, the ones who feel alone even while surrounded by people.
You are loved. You are special. You are beautiful.
Who you are is enough.
The person you want to be is a goal to work toward, but who you are right now in this moment is enough. You are a beautiful child of God, loved more than you can imagine.
When I was in high school, I started dating someone right away. It was fun. It was intoxicating. It was all I thought about. He became my everything – my life, my light, my identity. Sure, I had friends and I had family and I had God, but my time and my energy were his, My thoughts were his and soon my body began to be as well.
All of a sudden, there was a battle inside me – is this ok? Is this right? Will he still want me if I don’t want to do this? Why didn’t he tell me I was pretty today? Did something change? Why didn’t he talk to me?
I must be wrong.. I must be bad. I must be worthless.
…He talked to me! I am strong. I am pretty. I am confident.
…He ignored me. I am bad. I am worthless. I am nothing.
…He yelled at me. I must change who I am. I must be better. I must be prettier. I must be skinnier. I must look like those girls. I must be more. I am not enough. I am bad. I am worthless. I am nothing.
…He looked at me! I knew he liked me. I knew he wanted to be with me. I am me again!
…He dumped me. I am worthless. This pain is too much. There has to be something I can do to get his attention. Maybe if I show my pain on the outside. Maybe if I’m bleeding he will care.
I am worthless. I am nothing. I will never be enough.
I know that you have all thought those things, at least in some capacity. Perhaps because of parents who didn’t express their love, perhaps because of abuse, perhaps because of guys who didn’t want to love you as you deserve.
Friend, hear me. These are LIES! Lies that the enemy wants desperately for us to believe. He tells us we are worthless, that we are nothing, that no one could ever love who we are. That we should be scared and that we should change and that we should hurt – because we deserve it.
This game, this painful cycle of questioning and wondering and torturing ourselves mentally, emotionally, physically – that is NOT who we are!
We have to stop this cycle. We have to tell the enemy to leave us alone in the name of Jesus. We must claim who we are in Christ!
High school me listened to lies because I just wanted to be loved. I began to believe that I was nothing, worthless – something to toss aside. By God’s grace, that relationship was ended and I thank God that He separated me from that person and drew me to Himself. Because through all that pain I started a journey toward finding out who I really am. He showed me that I am enough for Him, that I am beautiful, that I am worth it. In JESUS I found my identity – not in a guy, not in self harm, not in things or activities or in schoolwork or trying to fix everyone’s problems. In Jesus.
I was broken, and He put me back together.
Do I still struggle with those lies? Absolutely.
Do I still feel worthless sometimes? Definitely.
Do I still feel like I have to believe the lie? NO! And neither do you.
I have learned to say or write the lie so that I can see or hear how ridiculous it sounds. And then I replace it with the truth.
I am worthless. I am precious in His eyes.
I am nothing. I am His everything. He died to save me.
I am wrong. I am righteous is His eyes – I am forgiven.
I am dirty. I am clean and white as snow because of Jesus.
I am not enough. I AM enough because I am a child of the King.
I will always be in pain. I am being cared for by the Healer.
I will always be broken. I am being made whole.
Dear one, you ARE worth it. You ARE enough. You ARE beautiful. You ARE everything to the One that gave everything for you.
Choose to believe the truth. Choose the light of His love, His truth, and His grace.
I would love to pray for you and hear about your journey. Message me or find me on social media!
Alicia says
Beautiful Anna! Thank-you for letting us into your heart and mind. You will feel these lies as a mother too, so hold fast. Very encouraging words! Love ya beautiful girl!!!!
Anna says
Thank you friend!
Heather Jones says
Thank you for this post Anna! Have you ever read “Lies Women Believe?” such a good book! Your post reminds me a lot of that book.
Anna says
I have heard of it, but never read it. Thanks for reminding me to add it to the list! Thanks for being here! <3