To the girl who just lost her Daddy.
You never thought this would happen to you. It’s something that happens in movies and books. A little girl or a young woman loses her father and is thrust into greatness as she overcomes.
You are very aware of all the stories that begin this way now, I know. You wonder where the messy middle part of the story is. You know, the part just after the monitor stops beating and your daddy is gone forever. The part where you have to smile and hug and talk to people at a service. The part after all the hugs and cards have dwindled and you’re left in a pool of darkness and the need to carry on some form of normalcy.
The part in between loss and greatness.
Where is the movie on how to navigate that? What part of this involves a swell of music and an overcoming attitude? I don’t know, either.
You’re sad and then happy. You laugh and then sob. You see a grandfather and grandson and secretly hate that they get to play together. You wonder if you’re the right amount of sad or if you’ve cried too much or too little. You let yourself feel and think about some of the memories that surface and then stuff it all back down.
If you got to say goodbye, you replay it over and over. And if you didn’t you ache.
You try to go on living, because you’re still here. There’s purpose, there has to be.
To the outside world, you look whole and functioning. But really you feel as though you are wandering around with a giant piece missing.
As the days turn to weeks and those turn to months, you wonder if you’re beginning to forget this man that was your pal, your confidant, your friend, your mentor. What if you forget what it feels like to hold his hand or to be held in a tight hug? What if someday you can’t remember what his voice sounded like when he prayed or greeted you when you came home from being away?
You wonder how to be thankful at Thanksgiving and what being merry at Christmas even looks like. How can the new year be happy when your entire world is in pieces?
Your life will never be the same and people who love you will continue to look at you with that look and ask you how you’re doing.
The raw edges of the hole in your heart will start to mend over time, but the hole will remain. As a symbol of the Daddy who taught you to ride your bike and held your hand as you walked and didn’t want to let go as he walked you down the aisle.
You’ll wonder if God really is good. He is.
You’ll demand to know if His way really is best. It is.
You’ll doubt that His timing is perfect. It is.
You’ll question that there is purpose to this pain. There is.
If you trusted your earthly father, just think how much more reliable your heavenly Father is.
If you were loved by your earthly daddy, just hold on to how much more your heavenly Abba loves you.
To the girl who just lost her daddy – cling to your Heavenly Father with all the strength you have left. He will hold you in the palm of His hand and protect you in the shadow of His wings. (Psalm 91). Keep your eyes fixed on Him and let the rest fall away. Each wave of grief passes through His hands first. Each tear you cry, He sees.
Father, I know I am not the only girl who is hurting over losing her Daddy. Sometimes it just doesn’t seem fair or right that he is gone. I don’t understand your ways, but I do believe they are higher than mine. I don’t understand your timing, but I believe it is perfect. It is difficult to see the good, but I believe that YOU are good. I pray for the girl reading this that has also lost her Dad, that you would cover her with your wings and comfort her. That you would give her hope and peace and a sense of joy that can only be from you. Thank you that you are good. Thank you that you bring light to the dark places in our hearts. Thank you that you can bring beauty from ashes and brokenness. We love you and we rest our hurting hearts at your feet. In the strong name of Jesus we pray. Amen.
If this touched your heart, please share it with someone who needs to hear it as well. And if you are also grieving, here are a few more resources for you.