It was the start of another day, and just like most every other day I was a mess. Holding back tears, a pit in my stomach, wondering what I had been thinking taking this job. I got in my car for my short 10 minute drive to the charter school where I taught second grade and hit speed dial. "Dad. Can you pray with me?" He was probably eating his oatmeal, getting ready to walk out the door to farm - but of course he said yes. That first year of teaching, my Dad prayed with me so many mornings. But it wasn't the first time. I used to ask him to do the same in high school, would call … [Read more...]
Father’s Day: Loss and Legacy
I am blessed to have had a strong, funny, Christ-focused father in my life for 27 years and each year on Father's Day I celebrate his life. This is the second year I've celebrated him here on earth while he parties in heaven, and I miss him. To honor his life and legacy, I started jotting down some life lessons that he taught me - some directly and some simply through the way he lived. At a Bible study a few weeks ago, we had a conversation and I realized afterwards that I had started at least 5 sentences with "When I was growing up, my dad taught us..." It just drove home the fact … [Read more...]
Choosing All-In Faith When Faced With Grief and Loss
Grief presents us with a choice - to turn away from faith or to jump all in. Before my father was diagnosed with cancer, I would have said that I believed in the gospel and that I knew God was good. But when he got sick and was gone so quickly, I found myself wrestling with some deep questions. How could a good God let this happen? How did the gospel - the good news - line up with this awful news? How could Jesus be the light of the world and still let this darkness into my life?Have you ever gone through something that makes you question - that presents you with the choice to turn away … [Read more...]
To the Woman Who Doesn’t Have Time to Grieve
I was driving home from work the other day, laughing and singing with Logan in the car. Then, all of a sudden I was back in that room. Dad's breathing was labored. The beeping machines were slowing. I knew everyone was crying but to me there was deafening silence. There was a cloud of darkness, mixed somehow with the light of hope. I drew a deep breath and forced myself out of the memory and back to the present. For more support, sign up for the free 4 day grief support e-series here. … [Read more...]
Questioning God in the Midst of Grief – #griefstories
I started writing #griefstories as a way to process my pain and hopefully help others going through their own. Questioning God in the Midst of Grief is normal - it's what we do with those questions that makes all the difference. I wanted to share this portion of my journey because I think it's something we can all relate to. For more support, join the free 4 day grief support email series here. … [Read more...]