We got married on Friday the 13th.
We had a wedding weekend instead of a wedding day.
We had two wedding receptions.
We didn’t go on a honeymoon.
We had a DIY wedding that we paid for (mostly) ourselves.
You could say our wedding was rather unique – as was our relationship and as is our marriage. We are quirky. We are independent. We are both the oldest sibling in our families and like things OUR own way. Our marriage reflects these things. We are the same people we were prior to marriage…now we just live in the same house and have to figure out what to do about it.
Marriage didn’t fix any of our pre-existing problems. In fact, marriage brought new issues.
Marriage isn’t a magic pill that you take to make everything better. It doesn’t turn everything into a sparkly wonderland.
We do fight. We do worry about money. We do wonder if this whole “for better or for worse” thing is more concentrated on the “for worse” part. BUT (don’t worry, there is a but!) we are also learning how to fight fair. We are growing closer together as we learn to manage our money together. We are experiencing how amazing the “for better” parts of marriage can be as we continuously work on becoming one during the “for worse” parts.
As of the writing of this post, hubby and I have been married for a year this month, and we have already experienced some pretty major trials. I got really sick 3 months after our wedding and it took about 6 months to figure out what was going on. My hard working hubby lost his job unfairly and our financial situation took a hit.
But guys, in my humble opinion this is where the “newlywed bliss” happens. It comes from experiencing both the good and the bad together. It comes from having a fight and making up. It comes through dreaming together and working alongside each other to make those dreams reality. It comes from putting the other person’s needs first.
Real newlywed bliss doesn’t just happen.
Bliss comes when we delight in our spouse – when we work together with them, focus on them, pour our heart into them.
Bliss doesn’t come as a storybook ending – it comes through determination and resolve, mistakes and forgiveness.
Happily ever after isn’t always happy – but it can be full of joy.
I look at this past year and see joy amidst the disagreements and problems. I see grace alongside failures. I see bliss because we are working together to make sure our ever after is happy for the other person.
The real happily ever after isn’t tied up with a neat bow and a “the end”. It’s messy. It’s rough. It’s beautiful. It’s worth it.