Communicate Well
Respond Gently
Listen Well
- – holding your spouse’s hand or moving to sit with them
- – tuning in and nodding to let them know you’re hearing them
- – keeping your body language and facial expressions respectful (no eye rolling!)
- – thanking them for sharing when it’s your turn to speak
Stay Calm
Believe the Best
I struggle with this sometimes. When things are going well, I can rattle off a list of traits I love about my husband. But when things are tense and messy and hard, my list tends to be everything that makes me what to pull my hair out. However, if he even hints that I may have “messed up” I tend to freak out. #realtalk
You want your spouse to believe the best about you, to see the best in you. You wouldn’t want them to come at you with a list of all the ways you’ve fallen short of their expectation. You wouldn’t want them to immediately take what you say the most negative way possible. So, don’t do that to them. Believe the best about them. See the best in them. Throw away your list of their mistakes and tell them something you appreciate about them. When they say something that hurts your feelings, ask them to explain and be willing to listen to what they have to say. Believing the best about our spouse helps bring out the best in them.
Focus on the Positive
Here’s a recap about three ways to love your spouse in a hard season!
- How and when you communicate are just as important as what you communicate.
- Believing the best about our spouse brings out the best in them.
- Stop fixating on the problems and start dwelling on the positives.
- Schedule Time Together
- Focus on Serving
- Pray
- Work on Your Own Heart
- Consider Counseling
Update: Here is part two!
I’d love to hear about your journey. Comment below or find me on social media!
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Dorothy says
Making time for one another is so hard with four kids. BUT is something we strive for. Our biggest way of accomplishing this is early bedtimes for the kids so we have a little bit of the evening together!
Dorothy says
Making time for one another is so hard with four kids. BUT is something we strive for. Our biggest way of accomplishing this is early bedtimes for the kids so we have a little bit of the evening together!
Anna says
That’s a great strategy!! 😀