I was hanging up Logan’s clothes and beginning to pack up many of his newborn size clothes when it hit me.
I was afraid of missing something.
A few days before, my devotional had asked “what are you afraid of?” and I had left it blank, somewhat pridefully thinking I had no fear. I had just walked through my fears of labor, delivery and early on sleepless nights and now there seemed to be a fear void.
But I didn’t sense peace – I just couldn’t name the fear.
That is until anxiety hit while doing laundry.
I think sweet little baby laundry is probably the only enjoyable laundry there is! So why the anxiety? I found my thoughts trailing off to wondering if he would get to wear all his NB clothes before he grew out of them.
- Did I put him in all the clothes?
- Did I waste money?
- Did I waste an outfit?
- Would someone be offended he hadn’t worn something?
- What if I missed out?
- What if I missed something?
Don’t worry, I did reign it in and come back to the reality that sweet healthy babies grow quickly and that it is in fact a good thing that he was moving to the next size. But I wondered if some of my anxiety came from a deeper place than just the typical “I want my baby to stay a baby” mentality. I know this fear of missing out started WAY before my journey of motherhood began.
Growing up, the adults in my life were constantly reminding me to stop worrying about missing out on something and to enjoy what I was getting to do. I would plan and fret and schedule instead of live in the moment. I still struggle with it!
Motherhood has a way of magnifying our fears, failures, and flaws, yeah?
Maybe in a way that’s good- giving us a chance to pull them up by the root and deal with them. I’m obviously still working through how to deal with my fear of missing something. I just have to keep reminding myself that we are only promised today. Each moment I spend fretting about missing something is a moment wasted.
“Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to his life?” (Matthew 6:27)
When I spend time worrying about what I might miss, I ironically miss moments right in front of my face.
The next time that worry hits me in the face, I am going to take it to Jesus and leave it at His feet. I really want to start enjoying the moments I’m given rather than get lost in the moments I’m afraid I won’t have.
One practical way that has helped me in the past is journaling. Naming the fear or anxiety and writing a truth or promise from scripture next to it shines light on what the enemy would rather leave shrouded in darkness.
Do you fear missing out? What do you do to combat that?
I plan on sharing this journey with you so be sure to check back for Part 2!