This time last year I was probably nearer to a complete mental and emotional breakdown than I have ever been. It was two weeks until my wedding (all DIY!), and I had decided to leave the job I had and pursue something else. The details for my new job were still being worked out, and my soon to be husband had finally been able to start a new job (which was good, but added stress of its own). I was wavering back and forth between breakdowns and blessings.
I had help from my family and friends, and I just kept asking God to give me peace and presence of mind to not forget anything and somehow still enjoy the once in a lifetime experience. From June 1st on (13 days never went so fast and so slow all at the same time), I lived in a blur.
All my life changes were occurring simultaneously.
Hubby started moving his stuff to my apartment. I worked to prepare the final things for our wedding – when I would no longer be a “Henderson” or a single person. I left friends and a stressful work environment under less than ideal circumstances. I attempted to prepare for my new job that I literally started the day after our reception (I say attempted because I really had no brain power left). Oh, and amongst all of this I was also balancing being the coordinator for the children’s ministry at our church – a task I was extremely passionate about but felt as though I didn’t have any brains left to coordinate.
I think that in those two weeks I gained back most of the weight I had worked so hard to lose because of stress and stress eating.
Wowza, just reading all of that makes me feel overwhelmed! No wonder I got sick in September and stayed sick for months. I was drowning – drowning in all very good things – but still drowning.
I look back at this time of my life with awe and thankfulness – awe that it happened and was amazing and that I was able to get everything done (with help of course!) and thankfulness that God protected me throughout.
I learned to manage my time even more during this time. I learned to let go because there literally wasn’t time to hold on to certain things. I learned to be thankful for what I had because those blessings were what mattered. I learned to live in the moment and to fully immerse myself in each day because thinking past that day was too overwhelming.
And now…. well now I have been married almost a year. I have two jobs I love, an amazing husband who takes care of me, and an apartment in a town that finally feels like home. I am so, so grateful that this year at this time I am not juggling what I was last year. I am still juggling what feels like a lot some days, but I think that I have come a long way.
So. If you are reading this thinking “You don’t know the half of it. I have so much on my plate. I can’t think about being positive, I can only think about surviving.” I get it.
Take a minute. Breathe. Write down 5 things that are going well – even if they are as simple as “I needed milk for my cereal this morning and we actually had some in the fridge.”
Make time each moment you start to feel panicky and overwhelmed to step back, breathe, be thankful and remember what matters. Decide to learn from this time of your life. Because it is only a phase. This too shall pass.
And soon, you’ll be looking back thinking – wow, I made it through THAT time. Surely I can make it through what I’ve got going on right now!
I’d love to hear from you about your journey and your own breakdowns to blessings moments! Connect with me on social media or comment below!