Happy 2016!
I hope that you all had wonderful Christmas and New Year’s celebrations. We got to celebrate with both sides of our families this year, which is special!
As I’ve been pondering this new year, I wanted to give myself a phrase to focus in on. This year holds a lot for us, including adding a little person to our family. I love that a new year means a new, fresh start. We can truly leave the past behind and look forward.
This year, the phrases that I am going to focus on are:
- An attitude of rest, and
- A refined purpose.
Rest is something that I have always struggled with. I either immerse myself in things to the point of near drowning or hide from everything and become lazy. I am learning that true rest is being present and taking time to be still – even when there is work to do.
As a Christian, I know that taking time to be with God is vital to my relationship with Him. I know that when I put Him first other things fall into place. I know that being in HIS presence, recenters my present circumstances.
And yet, I find myself pushing my time with God out of my schedule as soon as something else comes up.
Taking time to be still physically, emotionally and spiritually allows time to be refreshed, renewed, and recharged. And when we actively make time to rest, it becomes easier to be present – to not focus on the past or worry about the future.
I looked up the dictionary definitions of “rest” and “attitude” to help me work through what I wanted my focus to be.
Rest: cease work or movement in order to relax, refresh or recover strength
Attitude: a settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically reflected in a person’s behavior
Instead of just saying that I’m going to rest more or even that I am going to make time to rest, I am going to work on having an attitude of rest. I want my behavior to show restfulness – in all areas of my life. I don’t want the people that I interact with to see a stressed, crazed individual – I want them to experience the rest and life that naturally comes with pausing to breath.
When my baby arrives, I want him to experience peace and rest – both things he can innately sense in me!
I am sure that I will be learning more and fleshing this concept out alot in the months to come, but these are my inital thoughts.
The other phrase that I chose for 2016 is a refined purpose.
I struggle with staying movtivated sometimes (especially while pregnant!) – even when I’m doing things I love.
I also struggle with saying no to things. If I do say no, I feel guilty. If I don’t say no, I’m overwhelmed.
Both of these things boil down to refining my purpose.
First, I am going to make a point to focus on the purpose – my why – for doing something. For example, when I’m in the midst of curriculum writing and I lose my motivation I am going to make a choice to think about why I am writing this curriculum (to teach kids about the love and joy of Jesus!) rather than about all the reasons I’m frustrated or stuck. My goal is that, with practice, I can make it a habit to focus on my (positive) why rather than on my (negative) current circumstance.
Second, I am going to use my purpose to “screen” opporunities that come my way. As an introvert, I get burned out on social events quickly. I need to recharge to be my best self, but I am also learning to balance that with healthy get-myself-out-there opportunities! As a wife, soon-to-be mom, nanny, and church staff member I have a lot of responsibilities that I need to have a good attitude about!
By asking myself what my purpose is, I think it will help me to be more invested when I do say yes and to be guilt-free when I say no.
My goal is to work through the following questions so that I can define my purpose and determine if the decision-in-question helps me be purposeful or if it distracts.
What would be my reason for doing this?
Do I feel guilty? Do I want to do this? Am I excited about this? Am I being pressured to do this? Am I perceiving pressure to do this?
By taking time to think through my reason for doing something, even with small things, I think that I will be able to fully invest in the things that I do say yes to.
What would be my intention in doing this?
Am I saying yes to help out? Am I doing this to learn something? Am I doing this to impress someone? Am I doing this because I feel like I have to? Am I doing this because I feel trapped?
This question is similar to the first and equally important. My intention or the outcome that I am looking toward needs to play a part in my decision making process. If I am answering these first two questions with negative responses, then my answer should probably be no. And saying no can be difficult for us people pleasing, over-acheivers! Which is why honestly answering the following question can help.
How does this decision help me reach my purpose?
I struggled just phrasing the question. I don’t want to focus on me, my wants, or what is best for me. I don’t know if it is because I think it’s prideful or what but when it comes to making choices about what is best for me, I struggle! Asking myself how the decision I am making helps me reach my purpose, meet my goals, and makes me a better person brings things into focus. I think it will help me get past knee-jerk emotional responses. (“Yes” because I have to or “No” because I would rather watch Netflix). Remembering the big picture can help us remember why we are here in the first place.
I hope this helps you find some phrases of your own to focus on in 2016! I believe that rest and purpose are things we can all apply to our lives, and I hope that my thoughts on them encourage you!
What are you working on this coming year?
How are you finding rest and purpose?